Day 2 of Janathon. 7.9 km on the indoor rower.
In years gone by I’ve been a big fan of resolutions. From late teens onwards I’ve found that setting goals and achieving them has been a great source of comfort to me. Sometimes it’s personal, that feeling of smug satisfaction of having achieved more than someone who you suspect looks down upon you, sometimes it’s more existential, about making your life meaningful by doing something to make the world a better place.
When I took up running,it was a different kind of achievement. I wasn’t in a position to be competition for anyone else: The achievement was purely about learning to like something that I never ever thought that I would want to do, never mind like.
Thinking about resolutions for this year I have struggled to come up with meaningful goals. The problem is that to set any goals over and above what I’m achieving now will require a lot of Time and energy and I think that I’m already giving 100%!! At work I just want to do what I’m already doing as well as I can. Outside work I want to be a good wife and mother. I’d like to spend a bit more time with extended family and friends.
If resolutions were actually wishes that came true instead of ambitions that required effort to achieve there are a few things that I’d like to do. I think that I’d like to run a marathon, oh and I have started to jot down a few ideas for the novel which has been dwelling in my head for a couple of years. And I’d like to lose 10lb. I’m actually quite pleased to have stayed pretty steady all year with ‘eating sensibly’ so I think it would require quite a bit of effort to lose weight. So I’m not going to pressure myself to do that.
I have a tendency towards enthusiasm and optimism, I often have great ideas and often I pursue goals at 120%. That’s great, but then I get tired and burn out. When I burn out I over compensate by ‘protecting myself’ and becoming selfish and unhelpful. I don’t want to do that any more.
My resolution for 2015 is to be balanced.
I’m going to do the best I can to do all the things that I want to do, but aim for steady consistency rather than flashes of high energy.
So I may, or may not run a marathon this year. If I do, it will be my aim to finish and accept that I won’t be fast. If I don’t, I may do a couple of half marathons, and truthfully that might be a better way to go for long term consistency.
I may write a novel but I probably won’t. Chances are that I will get a couple of chapters down. It may be that I find spending an hour on my novel every night more fulfilling than watching TV, in which case I might do a lot more!
I dare say that I won’t lose 10lb, but if I manage some consistent exercise I might.
So no pressure, which is good because I can do without it!
how about you? Can you be happy with who you are already?