another day in the life!
6am cup of tea
7am in the car
8 am pre op rounds
8:30 – 5:30 operating ( good anaesthetist so quick turnaround, intense busy day)
5:30 30 mins spent drinking coffee and chatting
6 pm 90 minutes of emails and paperwork
8 pm home cook dinner ( pasta with spinach and mushroom sauce, feeling a bit veggie today)
9 pm bath.
I had planned to read a running magazine in the bath but I dropped it in😁😔 big time. It was wet through so I have put it on the radiator to dry hoping that the pages will peel apart. So instead I contemplated my midriff. A bit lardy looking I thought. I can remember the days when water would flow over the sides and settle in little hollow pools above and below the tiny little pocket of fat just below my belly button. It’s a long time ago but I have a good memory.😊
A while ago I read Chrissie wellingtons ‘a life without limits’ . It’s an autobiography, she comes from nowhere to win the world ironman in Hawaii. In her teens/early twenties she had an eating disorder and when she starts triaining, having recovered somewhat she comments how when she looks in the mirror she starts to appreciate her body for what it can do rather than obsessing what it looks like. I confess I cynically thought that it’s much easier to appreciate your body ‘ for what it can do’ when you happen to be tall and slim. And an ironman.
That passage came to mind when I was lying in the bath. Lardy though I thought my belly looked at the time, I realised that it had been a while since I thought something that negative about my bod. Maybe because I have more showers than baths? No, I actually notice positive things sometimes, I notice muscles in my forearms when I’m rowing, or the tone that my ever so slightly tight hamstrings give my legs! So late in the day I have come to agree with chrissie that exercise does change ones perception of ones body. I have weighed my self and recorded it most days for the last 18 months and my weight hasn’t changed. Body fat hasn’t changed. Waist and hip measurements haven’t changed. So it’s all in the mind.
Whether its a good thing that I can be overweight but feel ok about my body is a topic for another day – if I felt bad about it would I be motivated to work harder to lose weight? Or would I just be overweight and miserable? Surely being fat but fitter is better than being fat and unfit.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m rambling and I should be asleep.