Being honest with yourself.

My honest moment arrived a couple of weeks ago.

My running has really tailed off over the last few months. In march I ran once per week, in April once in the month.

Looking at my stats I can see that I was running an average mile per day up until September last year. Then it just dropped off. Since then my average has been a quarter of that. And I have gained 10lb. It isn’t just about the running though, I also gained 10lb in the preceding 10 months!

I knew that I was gaining weight but it wasn’t bothering me too much. I’d lost some when I was ill, and gaining weight was more than compensated for by feeling better. But a couple of weeks ago I decided that I needed something new to wear. For the last couple of years all my spare time and money has been spent on building the house, but now it was time to go shopping! Yay!

I was thrilled to find lots of lovely summery clothes in my favourite colours. I gathered up an armful and went off to the changing rooms.  Oh dear! I looked a mess! I wasn’t upset or anything. It just became apparent to me at that point that I was carrying a lot more weight than I did a year ago. And then I remembered being in this position before. 5 years ago. Before I took up running. Back then trips for shopping were a regular feature in my life- usually resulting in me coming home empty handed because nothing looked right.

And then I remembered how when I started running I didn’t need to shop any more, the clothes I already had looked absolutely fine when I lost the big belly thank you!

So I cut my losses. I didn’t carry on with my shopping trip. I drove home and went for a run!

And the honesty? Well that’s to do with my motivation to run. Although I like to dress it up as ‘health’ really it’s about vanity. I want to look good! I want to be healthy too, but vanity is the trump card that got me out of the door!

when I did go out, it was a lovely summery evening, warm and dry. It triggered memories of happy runs from our old home, off road, fields, woodlands, river. Smell of the countryside, wild flowers, sheep! The place we were renting whilst we had our house built, although rural, didn’t offer much in the way of  trails it was all on windy little roads, always the risk of cars. It was never quite the same.

Now I think that here I have an opportunity to rekindle some of the joy and variety of outdoor running. And maybe shift a few pounds…..

I got hubs to take a photograph of me as a ‘before ‘ picture. It isn’t very flattering so I won’t  be sharing it! Instead here’s a picture from a nice little woodland path that I found.IMG_2238also, the only ‘before’ picture I’m prepared to share with you, my monthly mileage!



About mawil1

Hi my name is julie and I took up running at the age of 46! Hence 'mawil' Middle Aged Woman In Lycra. I did it at first because someone asked me to do a charity run with them. I couldn't run at all, but pride wouldn't let me be seen to be unable to run so I started a walk run programme. I stuck with it and to my surprise I found that I liked it- after a couple of weeks of progress I was hooked! My blog is about my progress in running and how I fit it in with the rest of my life.
This entry was posted in balance, change, fitness, fun, habits, running, stats geek, weight loss, work life balence. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Being honest with yourself.

  1. I know what you mean about the vanity, but I think it’s a summer thing too. We’re more likely to go out running in the summer than the winter when it’s cold and usually wet. It’s also habit, once you get back into the swing of going out, say, every Sunday morning, then you’ll soon regain your mojo and hopefully lose a few pounds along the way. 🙂

  2. Gareth says:

    It doesnt matter what your motivation is for doing it. No reason is better than any other reason its just personal to you. In this case if its gonna make you feel good about yourself then youve got both the physical and mental side to gun for. You know we all got your back on here and will give you all the support we can while you get back into it – you never lost if you just forgot it for a while! Good luck and just enjoy being outside!

    • mawil1 says:

      Thanks Gareth😘 like you say, maybe I just forgot for a while – I was busy! Went out again this evening and it was lovely. I think that maybe I really am a country girl!

  3. I love that you don’t really beat yourself up about anything — it’s very healthy, but maybe a wee bit enabling at times, too, eh? You know I mean that in the nicest way.

    Sometimes it starts as vanity and morphs into something else. That is definitely how it was for me & running. And again, running is not a silver bullet to weight loss, either, but it sure makes you feel better and it helps cardiovascular healthy, so I think your approach to it is a good one!

    I am not busy with a career and I still struggle to find the time to run!

    • mawil1 says:

      It isn’t that I’m blind to the truth- just accept as it is and deal with it. A couple of years ago I would have beat myself up about it . Now I realise that that would make me fat AND miserable – what’s the point? 😁

      • Like I said, I think it’s a good attitude! I am much more likely to beat myself up.

        Look at the bright side, we had a member at our Weight Watchers meeting who’d gained 11 lbs in ONE WEEK.

        Seriously, I’m not even sure how that’s possible. Obviously some of it was water weight, but still!

  4. Darlene says:

    I love your honesty. And whatever gets you out there running is good.

    I personally don’t run because it is healthy even though I know it is. I run because I like being outdoors and I like how it feels to be a runner.

  5. CJ says:

    Heeeeey Joooooolz!! 😉
    I just nominated you for The Mystery Blogger Award!
    Info is in my latest post. I love blog and enjoy reading your posts!!
    If you don’t have time to post or if you’ve already been nominated… worries! I Just wanted to ‘pay it forward’ and highlight some awesome bloggers!!
    Luv CJ x

    • mawil1 says:

      Thanks Cee Jay! Yes I’ve had a busy couple of weeks, mainly work and life, less running and blogging. Got a few days off now, but I’m so unfit that it’s long walks I’m doing…… so out of the habit that I even forgot to put my garmin on yesterday so my 6mile walk wasn’t recorded! Still chipping away at my novel tho!

      • CJ says:

        oh that is fab news… don’t stress the small stuff… Novel is good, walking is FAB! Happy heart, happy soul, happy being XXX

  6. shazruns says:

    Similar feelings here trying on my summer wardrobe!
    Can’t wait for the after pic!

  7. oscardiamond says:

    A third reason to get back into running. Nice article by Emine Saner interviewing neuroscientist Hannah Critchlow in the Guardian on May 19th. Apparently neuroscientists are now running because of new research which demonstrates that it is good for increasing neurogenesis in the hypocampus. It is possible to create new brain cells in adults. Interestingly, I know of a lot of runners with heart disease but not any with dementia.

    • mawil1 says:

      The hippocampus – that’s the bit that gets bigger in taxi drivers, remembering all those routes and maps. Avoiding dementia would be good. I saw Nicholas parsons on tv last week – 90 and bright as a button. It would be lovely to think my old age could be like that!

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